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    Book excerpt: “I Am Maria” by Maria Shriver

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    The Open Field


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    In her new memoir, “I Am Maria: My Reflections and Poems on Heartbreak, Healing, and Finding Your Way Home” (to be published April 1 by The Open Field), Maria Shriver – the daughter of Kennedys, broadcast journalist, and former first lady of California – uses poetry to explore a woman in search of herself.

    Read some selected poems below, and don’t miss Lee Cowan’s interview with Maria Shriver on “CBS Sunday Morning” March 30!


    “I Am Maria” by Maria Shriver

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    I Know You Loved Me

    Beyond a shadow
    Beyond the words
    Beyond the picture of what a loving nurturing mother
    Is supposed to look like
    Act like
    Talk like
    Touch like
    There is you
    I couldn’t find anyone like you in my picture books
    No mothers looked like you
    Dressed in pants like you
    Had hair like you
    Played football like you
    Smoked cigars like you
    Yet I knew you loved me
    I knew you wanted more for me than you had been given
    I knew you wanted for me everything you had been denied
    Beyond a shadow I know you loved me
    The way you smiled at me and cheered for me
    The way you pushed me
    I know you loved me
    Do you know how much I loved you
    Beyond a shadow you were my everything
    I understand so much more about you today
    You too were scared
    You too longed to be seen
    You too longed to be held
    My heart breaks for you
    As I’ve come to learn we cannot give what wasn’t given to us
    As you grew older you softened
    You allowed me in
    My heart breaks for my mother
    But no one let her in
    But no one held her
    No one comforted her
    No one told her she was enough
    Her journey was relentless
    Her energy unbridled
    I understand now and I’m so sorry
    Beyond a shadow I know you loved me
    Beyond a shadow I loved you

    Dear Life

    I’ve been wanting to talk to you lately to tell you
    You are not what I planned
    You may not give a damn but I thought you should know
    You are not what I expected
    I thought as long as I had my compass pointing north
    All would be good
    But I learned that my heart doesn’t know north
    My life has led me on a path written in invisible ink
    Longing for more from a soul I didn’t know yet
    So here we are Life
    Without a compass without a map
    Only my heart guiding me forward
    It wonders
    Am I ready to be known in a new and deep way?
    Am I strong enough to open my heart and divulge what lies
    within?
    Life you say that’s what you are all about
    Let’s see how the universe responds
    When I pull back the curtain on my soul

    Fragments of Me

    They are everywhere
    The fragments of me
    In the closet in the drawer in the ceiling looking down
    The fragments of me are all over the land
    They are in Chicago
    In Maryland
    In the hall at my school
    In my bedroom
    Where I broke into two
    What about you
    Are you shattered
    Are you fragmented
    In pieces as well
    Is your life here on earth
    A heaven or hell
    Do you vacillate
    Between power and impotence
    Wanting nothing or wanting it all
    Do you stare down on yourself dissociated from life
    When you close your eyes do you pray for the relief of a knife
    Tell me tell me
    Are you the coward the hero a player of hearts
    Do you know who you are or have you vanished from your life
    Stand up show yourself stop hiding here and there
    Go pick up the pieces
    They’re everywhere
    It’s a mess it’s a shambles
    You are here and you are there
    Don’t you see
    Don’t you care that you’re everywhere
    It’s up to you
    Up to you to piece together your life
    Up to you to make sense
    Up to you to go back
    Back to where it began
    Go back to your birth
    Go back if you can
    Go back to Hyannis
    Go back to your room
    Go back
    Tell him you know and no longer feel shame
    Tell her you love her and pray for her pain
    Go back pick up the pieces
    Make yourself whole
    Go back to the fragments
    They’re the key to your soul

          
    Excerpted from “I Am Maria” by Maria Shriver, published by The Open Field, an imprint of Penguin Life, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2025 by Maria Shriver. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.


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    “I Am Maria” by Maria Shriver

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